Have you ever asked yourself this question, “why me?”
I’ve asked this question myself plenty of times, so as a result, I know how it feels. This question, “why me” is asked by the person who has a victim mindset and thinks that they are a victim of their circumstances because this is how they have programmed themselves to stay in that situation
What are the signs that help you identify a victim mindset?
You are always surrounded by negative thoughts.
- Here is an example, you might say something like this to yourself, “nothing good will ever happen to me,” “I told you this would happen, things like this always happen to me,” “I have bad luck.”
- You have an extremely poor self-esteem.You always feel like you don’t deserve anything good in life. You don’t feel like you are worthy of any praise. You have a corner in your mind which is called the self-pity and worthless room.
- You keep bitterness and anger boiling inside of you.
- You are angry because your neighbor is doing better than you. You are angry that your coworker has gotten that promotion or that bonus you wanted.
- “Why does she get better things than me?”
- You keep asking the question, ‘why’ a lot.Why does everything bad happen to me? Why can’t you let me be? Why can’t anyone understand me?
- You keep dwelling over negative things.You keep reliving that bad experience over and over again. You are still steaming over that fight you had with your husband, friend, boss, coworker, or your parent.
Are you starting to get the idea?
You can easily step into a victim mindset, kind of like Cinderella slipping her feet into her glass slippers.
Do you honestly want to be in bondage for the rest of your life? The question “why me” clasped around your feet like shackles, making you unable to run.
Do you want to get rid of the victim mentally? Are you ready to run free?
Here are the steps to break the shackles of your victim mentality.
- Do something small that will boost your confidence–
- Choose a small goal to start with, something that is right now for two to three steps within reach. And every time you achieve a goal celebrate, and start stretching yourself and set higher goals.
- Help someone else–
- I once read this quote, “We rise by lifting others.”- Robe rt Ingersoll.
- Be service minded rather than sympathizing with yourself. When you give to others, you will receive, and you will be able to rise out your victim mindset.
- Start journaling your gratitude-
- Yes, that might be hard, so start small. Be thankful that you have eyes to see, ears to hear, hands to touch, nose to smell. If you start small you will be amazed with the things you can be grateful for.
- Forgive and Forget-
- Holding on to the past is only hurting yourself. Its like carrying a bag of moldy onions, the stench and the weight won’t leave you until you drop the bag.
- Take 100 percent responsibility for your decisions-
- Yes, you are the one responsible for your circumstances. Are you giving excuses, are you blaming someone else for your problems, are you letting others walk all over you?
- You should take responsibility; your problems are your own and no one else’s.
- George Washington Carver once said that 99% of all failure comes from people who have a habit of making excuses. That is what the victim hides behind; excuses. Giving excuses and giving the power to everyone and everything else round them.
- Don’t let your past hurts and mistakes define you-
- The moment you feel yourself slipping into the victim mode, I want you to take complete control of your thought pattern that is victimizing you.
Make this a habit to step out of the victim mindset and step into the victors mindset, where you can soar freely, feel confident, and walk with your head held high.
I read a few stories from one of Jack Canfield’s books which I would like to share with you.
Did you know that Walt Disney was once fired by a newspaper editor for lack of ideas?
Can you believe that!? He also went bankrupt several times before he built Disney Studios and Disneyland.
Another person you know as Henry Ford, went broke 5 times and was bankrupt, failed over and over again, before he finally succeeded in creating the successful Ford Motor Company.
These men didn’t let the victim mindset settle into their minds, and neither should you. If they did, we wouldn’t be enjoying Disney movies, and the Ford cars today.
Remember you are victorious, so start small and build on victories which you can stand firm on.
I am giving you a task: Find out what thought pattern is dragging you into a victim mode and flush it out, by setting small goals and achieving it.